A totally different feeling than I thought it would be.

This is night 1 of not being in a fuck friendship with a guy I was borderline falling for. I must say, I thought that it would feel different. I think I've mentioned before that I am a person who has a hard time getting over things. I thought for sure that I would be waiting, hoping, wishing he would call or text and ask to hang out. Ya know, be all like, "I know you said this has to be over, but I really wanna see you." Well, a girl can dream can't she? I'll go into little detail about this boy, We went to middle and high school together. He was always one of the most popular guys in school. Hanging out with high schoolers when he was in middle school, and they, of course, were the popular high schoolers. It's not like he was one of those weird middle school kids into dragon and wizard video games who hung out with people three grades higher than him who hung out with only younger kids because they were just that socially challenged in high school that it was hard for them to associate with anyone on a more mature level than 8th grade. No, he was way mature for his age. I'm not saying his behavior was a good thing, but it definitely made him someone who all the girls wanted. In high school, he had a girlfriend who, wouldn't you know, was one of the most popular girls in middle and high school. She was in the same grade as him and everything, and had all the same popular, older friends he had. Just like him, she was (is) very attractive and had people tripping over themselves to talk to her. The only difference was that all through high school she was a virgin and did not partake in any illegal activity such as drugs or underage drinking. And it worked for them. Of course, when they weren't together, he was a huge man whore. Anyways, the boy I've been seeing is, for all the obvious reasons, someone I can't resist. In high school, I hung out with all the same people he hung out with, so I mean, I wasn't a huge loser or anything in school, but I just wasn't noticed by him. Once I moved away for college and got over pretty much everyone and everything in my small hometown, he started to notice. He's got that bad boy attitude about him and it's hard for me to say no to anything when it comes to him. He's sexy, popular, loves to party just as much as I do, can sweet talk anyone, and overall, great in bed. I had a lot of fun with him, but when I started to notice these feelings that I hadn't felt in a long time creep up on me, I had to end it, which I obviously did last night. You see,  we'd hook up once every few months when we'd both be back in our hometown. It'd be a one night thing, one or both of us would be completely drunk, and then we'd go on about our regular lives as if it never happened. And that was totally fine. That's how I liked it and, in fact, how I wanted it. I was okay with having sex with him and then not talking to him for months until it came time for our routine hook-up. But then I moved home for the summer, and things changed. We saw each other for the first 3 nights I was home, and talked all the time in between. He ended up going out of state for a week and the entire time he was gone, I couldn't stop thinking about him. That was the first sign I knew I was gonna be getting in deep. After I ended things last night, I stayed up for a while thinking that it was gonna be hard for me to not talk to him or go see him and that I'd give in right away. I figured I'd text him today or tonight and tell him that I wanted to have one last go around before it was officially over, but I didn't. I didn't have the urge to. I thought I'd sit around waiting for his text or that I'd get that nervous feeling in my stomach ever time I'd get a text message, wishing it was him, but nope, that feeling wasn't there either. I actually feel great and less anxious. I know the kind of guy he is, and I know that he won't text me asking to still hang out all the time. I guess I wasn't in as deep as I thought I was because this is so much easier than I thought it'd be. Does this mean I'm actually growing up and learning the rules of being in my twenty-somethings? ;)